Saturday, December 20, 2008

Oh Woe Is Us

The 2009 Gubenatorial Race is looking to provide the CNMI's citizens with another sizable field of candidate from which to choose. The only question out there now is whether or not any of them will be any good.
saipan, cnmi, rota, tinian, fitial, convict, scam
If it's anything like the 2008 Washington Delegate election, we're in for another snoozer. While we at Yap Central expect more candidates to throw their respective hats into the ring, we've presently only a few names on the ballot.
corruption, jack abramhoff, poor leader
While all of the names submitted are familiar, the bad thing is that all of the names are familiar. So far we've only got five candidates who can be called either washed-up, has-beens, retreads, failures or future losers. You pick which tag you wish to place on them.
benigno fitial, worst governor ever, bad candidate, don't vote for him ever again
Who are they? Allow me to explain them....


Benigno Fitial

The incumbent certainly feels that he has a shot at re-election, but he's got one heck of an uphill climb. The Gubnah has had plenty of obstacles to overcome during his term, and that has played a large part in his abysmal popularity rankings.

The only votes he's going to receive in 2009 will be from his family and the government employees who would stand to lose their job should Fitial lose his seat. I'm not talking about the bush cutters, I'm talking about the incompetent brood that fills some important positions in and around the CNMI.

I'm looking at you Melvin Faisao. A fourth grade education isn't good enough for a cabinet position unless your position is in the kitchen cabinet, pulling out pots and pans to make a drum set. Sorry Mel, but you can't vote twice by raising each one of your hands.

I think that means that the Department of Labor will be getting some new brass as well. Cinta will be out and about while the Howard and Deanne show will be showing on reruns on Capital Hill.

Fitial failed to deliver on his promises, bankrupted our government, robbed Pedro to pay Pablo, wasted our cash by suing the feds and belittled the contract workers (well, that's par for the course for everyone so we'll let him slide on that one).

Sorry, Ben. The next time will likely be your last time. Cheer up, because you'll surely be granted a position with Tan Holdings if you aren't interested in retirement just yet. It's a good thing too because you're part of the reason why there won't be anything left in the CNMI Retirement Fund less than two years from now.

The only thing that Fitial has going for him is that current Lieutenant Governor and soon to be convict Tim Villagomez won't be running with him. Tim once had aims of becoming the governor in 2009. Now all he has to look forward to in the New Year is a wider anus courtesy of the federal penal system.

Up Next: Juan Nekai Babauta

Here's a preview:

This guy was the governor who preceded our current governor and who places second behind the current governor for the worst governor of all-time. I'm not just talking about the CNMI, either. Babauta was so bad that he ran our utilities into the ground before...

Friday, December 5, 2008

Is It Just Me?

Is it just me or is there a new fire cadet who expressed her dislike for the Fitial administration when she legally changed her last name? You can read the story for yourself in today's Saipan Tribune, but I've cut out the only part you really need to read below:

Christine S. Funkugub, the lone female in the cycle, became the fourth female firefighter in the CNMI. Except for one who is already retired, all female firefighters are on active duty on Saipan.

It just has to be a made-up name. It's too perfect for it to be natural. Like many other things that occur in the CNMI, this can truly be filed under "O" for "Only In Saipan." If not, Christine has to come from a long line of political dissidents.

While I find her name hilarious, I find the efforts of all of these men and women commendable and wish to recognize those who stood out from their class. Welcome all to The Yapper's Honor Roll.

9th Cycle Fire Academy Valedictorian: Joaquin T. Camacho
9th Cycle Fire Academy Salutatorian: Albert Lee T. Aldan

9th Cycle Fire Academy Most Physically Fit: Robert P. Camacho, Jerome Q. Repeki
9th Cycle Fire Academy Top Firefighter: Robert P. Camacho
9th Cycle Fire Academy Gallantry Award: Linus Mizutani Jr.


Joining the overachievers are Jesse D. Arriola Jr., John C. Babauta, Rodney C. Cabrera, Francisco A. Cruz, Gary S. Cruz, Robert C. Cruz, Lorenzo V. Deleon Guerrero, Alejandro M. King, Ralphael L. Magofna, Richard D. Manalo Jr., Benjamin T. Manglona, Elden M. Sablan and Vincent F. Sablan.

In the words of Department of Public Safety Commissioner Santiago F. Tudela, "Don't ever forget that the badge you wear is a faith entrusted in you as a public servant and that badge is as good as the person who wears it.”

Great honor to all of you and the entire 89-member DPS Firefighter for serving our community.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Marianas Variety Censors Comment Section

What a bunch of bullshit! I thought that the Marianas Variety was going to have something special when it unveiled its revamped website earlier this year thanks in part to it comment section attached to each story.

Readers are able to login and post whatever they wish about the story, but only profane language is edited. For instance, when someone enters the word "shit" in the comment section it is printer as "s**t."

I think they took it a little too far by doing the same for "stupid" and "idiot" but it's their website and they can do what they choose...to a point

What those spineless bitches have done is eliminate individual comments from the section as they deem fit. If you want to harp on the governor, feel free. The only problem is that a phone call to the Marianas Variety from the governor will have that comment erased.

Those motherfucking at the Marianas Variety have removed nearly all of the comments I've made during the past few weeks. It all started with comments about the government, government officials and Taotao Tano's Greg Cruz (one of the association's only two members).

The same thing happened to my recent ridicule of DPS crime scene technician, Florencio Richards. I gave him a hard time for storing his government issued gun with his pugua pack and leaving it in his unlocked car overnight.

When he woke up the following day, his gun was gone and he claimed it was stolen. Apparently, calling a DPS officer irresposnsible for leaving a loaded weapon in his unlocked car overnight while the car is at his house is too much for the Marians Variety to handle.

Maybe they deem this acceptable behaviour or maybe they can't handle the truth. I also mentioned that Florencio Richards is the worst officer on the force and that he ought to be suspended without pay pending an investigation of his missing weapon, at the very least.

I thought he should also be fired for placing the public in jeaopardy.

Is it too much for us to ask that a non-uniformed DPS officer secure his weapon and ammunition while off duty? Does storing a loaded gun in a fanny pack and leaving that fanny pack in an unlocked car at your residence qualify as being secure in anyone's standard operating procedure manual?

The answer is no.

Florencio Richards is an idiot who put the whole community at risk with his carelessness. It's time for him to drop a few paygrades and be put on bicycle patrol in Garapan. Maybe he can handle a whistle and start working his way up to a flashlight.

Here's how the Variety printed the story:

AN officer of the Crime Scene Investigators Unit lost his firearm after his government-assigned vehicle was burglarized on Friday evening.

Acting Department of Public Safety spokesman PO2 Jason T. Tarkong said Florencio Richards, a crime scene technician, reported a burglary and theft incident at about 11:57 a.m. on Friday at his residence in Dandan.

Tarkong said Officer Edwin Aguon responded to the scene and met with Richards. Richards told Aguon that his firearm was secured in his government-issued vehicle.

“Earlier that morning Richards noticed his keys were missing,” Tarkong said. “He said he searched his residence but was unable to locate his keys. When he checked his car, he discovered it unlocked.”

When Richards opened his car, he discovered that his black waist pouch containing his Smith & Wesson 9mm semi-automatic handgun was missing along with its magazines and ammunition. Richards informed his immediate supervisor, Sgt. Augustine Kaneshi, about the incident.

Tarkong said the case is under investigation and the public should contact DPS at 664-9042 or Crime Stoppers at 234-2727 if they have any information about this incident. The Crime Stoppers program pays up to $1,000 for any information leading to an arrest. Caller ID is not used and all calls are anonymous.

This guy might not have lost the gun at all. He could have sold it or lost it and tried using this as an excuse to cover up the incident. I don't know how you can trust a guy like this to protect the community.

If he thinks that most secure place for his weapon is in his vehicle, ask him where he kept his wallet that night. How about his watch? And his badge?

Thanks to the Marianas Variety, I can't call out this moron in the public like he deserves. They can't cry foul about personal attacks either since they kept all of the comments I made about those three confessed killers in the Ballesteros case.

This is the first time I add two names to The Sick List in the same post, but it has to be done. Welcome to infamy, Florencio "Where's My Gun" Richards and the newly censor-happy Marianas Variety online comment section.

A hearty and healthy "Fuck You" to both of you!