Thursday, June 5, 2008

For Christ's Sake, Already

There's nothing wrong with having sex in strange places (like the back seat of a Volkswagon), in fact the changing of locations often heightens the experience. Whether you're indoors, outdoors, in the bedroom or on the hood of a car, sex is fun.

While some people get their rocks off by having a quickie at the park or on the beach, a couple in Italy were caught in the act pulling a Monica in the confessional. That takes some serious matzah balls.

Here's the story from
-- A man and a woman have been charged by police in Italy after they were found having sex in a confession box, it was reported Wednesday.

The Italian ANSA news agency said the young man and woman were taken into custody by police in the northern city of Cesena following a telephone complaint from a man attending morning Mass in the city's cathedral.

Authorities were alerted after a parishoner heard "rustling and groaning" coming from inside the confession box and pulled back the curtains to reveal a goth-rock couple engaged in oral sex, ANSA said.

The agency said the pair -- a 31-year-old laborer and a 32-year-old teacher -- defended their conduct saying: "We are atheists and for us, having sex in church is like doing it any other place."

However, Bishop Antonio Lanfranchi of Cesena-Sarsina took said the couple's behavior was "an outrage of notable proportions which bespeaks unutterable squalor."

He added that a special ceremony would be held to purify the confession box.

My guess is that the "special ceremony" involves the Holy Mop of Antioch and that they're going to import the Holy Water from our Santa Lourdes shrine here on Saipan. A bigger question lost in this story is why a couple in their 30's is still into goth-rock? Isn't that just for pimply faced teenagers trying to look cool in an alternative fashion?

Perhaps the biggest question: If you were offered some hot oral in a church, would you turn it down?