Friday, May 30, 2008

This Is Hilarious

What do Greg Cruz, Pamela Mathis and chairs have in common?

Let's give you a little background about today's post. A few days ago, Lt. Governor Tim Villagomez granted radical indigenous rights and xenophobic group, Taotao Tano, the use of a small government building to serve as loco local central.

When Governor Benigno Fitial caught wind of this he had his press secretary, Charles Reyes, tell the media that it was a mistake to allow TTT use of the building and that TTT would need to follow the formal application process to make use of the little place.

That didn't sit well with TTT head Greg Cruz, whose group had been cleaning and repairing the office which also served as the home of former Commonwealth Utilities Corporation PIO, Pamela Mathis.

By the way, TTT has been going after the CUC for fraud and waste for some time now, and Cruz has not been a fan of Mathis. While he went after her for getting her dog blessed at a local Catholic ceremony, it was nothing like the way he's gone after Reyes.

Okay, with all of that in mind, read this:

Taotao Tano accuses AGO of trespass

SAYING that their rights were violated, Taotao Tano headed by Greg Cruz Jr. yesterday filed a complaint with Department of Public Safety against the Attorney General Office for “criminal trespass.”

Cruz, in an interview with Variety, said the filing of complaint stemmed from the AGO’s allegations about chairs missing from a government housing unit that Taotao Tano is now using as its office.

The AGO stored evidence in court cases at the same unit.

Also included in the complaint was the Attorney General’s Investigation Unit which received the copy of the contract allowing Taotao Tano to use the housing unit and the video footage taken by Taotao Tano when it first entered the unit.

“Your office trespassed our new office by entering the premises without our permission,” Cruz said in his e-mail to Attorney General Matthew Gregory.

“Your office is charged with investigating and prosecuting government abuses, corruption and white collar crimes but yet your office can’t even properly secure evidence such as chairs confiscated, stored and in your care. This now raises the question whether your investigators are fully trained or certified to handle evidence,” Cruz said.

He said the AGO trespassed when it “broke” into Taotao Tano’s office.

Press Secretary Charles P. Reyes Jr. said allowing Taotao Tano to use government property was a “mistake” that has to be corrected.

A government building should be used for government purposes only, he added.

A private entity like the Taotao Tano will have to apply for a lease contract with the Department of Public Lands before it can use the government housing unity, Reyes said.

But, Cruz said they have not received any advisory from the Office of the Personnel Management which gave them the authorization to use Capital Hill House no. 1348, which is near the office of Washington Rep. Pedro A. Tenorio.

Cruz said his group will continue with the renovation and the cleanup of the unit, which used to be the residence of former Commonwealth Utilities Corp. Pamela Mathis.

I would love to be the on-the-spot television reporter who covered this story. I'd addd a little humor to it by closing the piece with something like this:

When referring to the AGO taking Taotao Tao's chairs, TTT President Greg Cruz said that he wouldn't stand for this kind of treatment! In the meantime, without the chairs I think he'll have to. Reporting live from Capital Hill, this is The Daily Yapper for KSPN2.

Be sure to tune in next week for another episode of As The CNMI Turns