Monday, April 21, 2008

Day One

And So It Begins...

As for today's first post:

Let's pick on Ed Salas!

Ed, what the fuck are you doing? Wasting out time and money, that's what. We're waiting to find out if we're going to have power on a daily basis and whether or not our economy will completely implode.

So what sort of legislation are you proposing? A fucking "no cell phones while driving" bill? WTF? Come on, next thing

Here's how it reads in today's Marianas Variety (note my thoughts in red)

Bill to ban cell phone use while driving

By Raymond A. Martinez
Variety News Staff

A HOUSE member has introduced bill to restrict the use of cell phone while driving a vehicle.

The bill, “Commonwealth Wireless Telephone Vehicle Safety Act of 2008” aims to prevent road accidents due to vehicle drivers using wireless telephones while on the road.

Rep. Edward T. Salas, R-Saipan and author of House Bill 16-65, said it is in the best interest of the people of CNMI to have a law that establishes commonwealth-wide safety guidelines for the use of cell phones while operating a motor vehicle.

A person may use a wireless phone while driving if the unit “is specifically designed and configured to allow hands-free listening and talking,” the bill stated.

Although Salas recognizes the importance of carrying wireless phone in cases of emergency on the road, he wants the people to use wireless phone for emergency purposes only — those involving a call to the fire division, police or hospital.

The bill exempts professionals who work with agencies that respond to emergency situations and those who use wireless phones for work-related purposes. (because it's not a safety hazard for them to talk on the phone while driving?)

According to the bill, emergency services include law enforcement, healthcare, and fire response.

The bill also exempts people who use “digital two-way radio that utilizes a wireless telephone that operates by depressing a push-to-talk feature and does not require immediate proximity to the ear of the user.” (because most accidents are ear-related?

Salas’ measure also seeks to prohibit people under 18 years old to use wireless phone while driving, even if the unit is a hands-free device. (and why is that, exactly?)

Way to go, Ed. You might not be able to handle a cell phone while driving but I sure as hell can. I also like how you think that Push-To-Talk phones somehow qualify as "Hands Free" under your bill. You're a fuckin dillweed.

This is the same kind of shitty legislation that works on the mainland but is largely unneeded here. Why? Because they have something on the mainland that we don't. It's called traffic, Ed.

The only time you'll find yourself in a "traffic jam" on Saipan, Tinian or Rota is if you happen to be behind a school bus or when a runaway cow trots onto the road. That's it. Why not legislate a ban to eating while in your car? That at least seems to make more sense.

Did you at least write this bill in collaboration with insurance companies in an effort to bring down the local auto insurance rates across the board? No. Why? Because you're bill sucks and you're a dillhole looking to make a name for himself by passing some crap off as work.

Okay, so maybe your heart is in the right place, but it sounds more to me like you're looking for a way to validate your position by passing this off as work. I seriously doubt that your constituents have been clamoring for a change driving communication policies.

Here's the mission statement from Ed's web page:


To represent the citizens of the Commonwealth of the Northern Mariana Islands with utmost integrity through transparency of actions; maintain focus and objectives related to the enhancement of livelihood; instill respect, trust and confidence to government; improve utilities (power and water), support and advocate improvement of health and education systems; work cooperatively, cohesively and in partnership with the private sector to provide jobs to constituents.

Did you have a meeting with the Concerned Motorists of the Northern Mariana Islands? No. Why not? Because there's no such organization. Look Ed, just do what's needed from you. Tip: This isn't!

Want to make a difference? How about making the "drive-by pugua spitting" a ticketable offense? All fines can go directly to the MVA's coffers. That's a double whammy!

Power is a problem.

Poker parlors (like the ones Luis Crisostimo owns and operates) are a problem.

Prostitutes: Not a problem. Just tax them.

If we need more crappy pointless legislation we could just move to the mainland.

Want to talk to Ed? Here's his office information:

Call : (670) 664-8826
Fax : (670) 664-8842
Email :
Staff Email: